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Research ArticleReflections

A new way of loving and living

Linda Lee and W. Wayne Weston
Canadian Family Physician March 2013; 59 (3) 286;
Linda Lee
Family physician in Kitchener, Ont, Director of the Centre for Family Medicine Memory Clinic, and Associate Professor in the Department of Family Medicine at McMaster University.
MD MClSc(FM) CCFP FCFP
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W. Wayne Weston
MD CCFP FCFP
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Do not go gentle into that good night

Old age should rave and burn at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light

Dylan Thomas1

These lines of poetry, quoted by a caregiver attending the Centre for Family Medicine’s Memory Clinic in Kitchener, Ont, express some of the powerful emotions we feel as death approaches. While research has taught us much about the clinical and pathological aspects of dementia, it is our patients and their caregivers who teach us about its human dimensions. Dementia is devastating not only because it is a terminal illness, but also because while living with it people enter a new social group that is highly stigmatized. People with dementia describe experiencing shame, discrimination, fear of rejection, social withdrawal, and isolation because of their illness.2 The fear of losing one’s ability to think and live independently causes suffering, which Cassel has defined as “the state of severe distress associated with events that threaten the intactness of a person.”3 As Auguste D., Alois Alzheimer’s first reported patient with dementia, expressed it, “I have lost myself.”4

The patient’s family members share in this profound loss, and their suffering, too, can be intense. Jack Dueck, a former professor of humanities at Yale, attends our Centre for Family Medicine Memory Clinic with his wife, Eleanor. He eloquently describes his feelings of helplessness and rage as he watches her condition deteriorate: With Eleanor’s Alzheimer’s I’m brought up short: there’s no traditional solution here; it’s an entirely new and disorienting encounter. Suddenly I seem to be moving into an opaque bubble, removed from someone gradually vanishing from me and even becoming a different person. Painful memories surge in face of the coming dissolution of a loved one’s personhood .... The experience is attended by temptations: self-pity, [a] patronizing, pathological frenzy for solutions (Internet, opinions, and experiments), and rage ... stimulants, but these, like alcohol, only irrigate, not ameliorate, the issue. How [to] deal with the incipient loneliness descending on two people gradually isolated from each other’s love and living?

How is a family physician to respond to such anguish? The latest Canadian guidelines on dementia include 149 recommendations,5 but only a few relate to support for caregivers. Listening to family members such as Jack Dueck reminds us that every patient with dementia might be living with another “hidden” patient.6 We need to care for both.7,8 From 40% to 70% of caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression and might neglect their own health as a result of caring for family members. Education, support, and counseling can benefit not only the patients but their family members as well.9,10 In a randomized controlled trial, Alzheimer patients whose caregivers received 6 sessions of individual and family counseling were able to delay their entry into nursing homes by 1.5 years, largely because of improvements in their caregivers’ well-being.11

An interprofessional primary care team is ideally situated to provide such help. Dueck writes of his experience at the Centre for Family Medicine Memory Clinic12: There’s a poignant line emerging in literature throughout the ages: Where do we go from here? .... The Memory Clinic ... is uniquely in the business of transitions. I found the professional objectivity never divorced from friendliness and compassion; the emphasis on relational aspects of it all reassuring ... the medical professionals of all branches inter-connected in this ordeal—all ... [offering direction] toward a new way of loving and living ... provid[ing] a marvelous anchoring in the turmoil.

Optimal care of a patient with dementia involves interprofessional care providers, the patient, and the patient’s caregiver. We have an opportunity to reduce suffering for patients with dementia and their family members—to be an anchor during this transition. Indeed, this role is a privilege deeply rooted in the healing tradition of family medicine.

Sharing their experiences of loss and turmoil, courage, and grace, families and caregivers give us a greater understanding of dementia’s effects. Listening to their stories helps us to help other patients and families deal with this devastating illness.

Footnotes

  • Competing interests

    None declared

  • Copyright© the College of Family Physicians of Canada

References

  1. ↵
    1. Thomas D
    . In country sleep. New York, NY: New Directions; 1952. Do not go gentle into that good night.
  2. ↵
    1. Aminzadeh F,
    2. Byszewski A,
    3. Molnar FJ,
    4. Eisner M
    . Emotional impact of dementia diagnosis: exploring persons with dementia and caregivers’ perspectives. Aging Ment Health 2007;11(3):281-90.
    OpenUrlCrossRefPubMed
  3. ↵
    1. Cassel EJ
    . The nature of suffering and the goals of medicine. N Engl J Med 1982;306(11):639-45.
    OpenUrlCrossRefPubMed
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    1. Maurer K,
    2. Volk S,
    3. Gerbaldo H
    . Auguste D and Alzheimer’s disease. Lancet 1997;349(9064):1546-9.
    OpenUrlCrossRefPubMed
  5. ↵
    1. Chertkow H
    . Introduction: the Third Canadian Consensus Conference on the Diagnosis and Treatment of Dementia, 2006. Alzheimers Dement 2007;3(4):262-5.
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    1. Hill J
    . The hidden patient. Lancet 2003;362(9396):1682.
    OpenUrlCrossRefPubMed
  7. ↵
    1. O’Brien J
    . Caring for caregivers [Editorial]. Am Fam Physician 2000;62(12):2584-7.
    OpenUrlPubMed
  8. ↵
    1. Parks SM,
    2. Novielli KD
    . A practical guide to caring for caregivers. Am Fam Physician 2000;62(12):2613-22.
    OpenUrlPubMed
  9. ↵
    1. Roche V
    . The hidden patient: addressing the caregiver. Am J Med Sci 2009;337(3):199-204.
    OpenUrlPubMed
  10. ↵
    1. Livingston G,
    2. Johnston K,
    3. Katona C,
    4. Paton J,
    5. Lyketsos CG,
    6. Old Age Task Force of the World Federation of Biological Psychiatry
    . Systematic review of psychological approaches to the management of neuropsychiatric symptoms of dementia. Am J Psychiatry 2005;162(11):1996-2021.
    OpenUrlCrossRefPubMed
  11. ↵
    1. Mittelman MS,
    2. Haley WE,
    3. Clay OJ,
    4. Roth DL
    . Improving caregiver well-being delays nursing home placement of patients with Alzheimer disease. Neurology 2006;67(9):1592-9.
    OpenUrlCrossRef
  12. ↵
    1. Lee L,
    2. Hillier LM,
    3. Stolee P,
    4. Heckman G,
    5. Gagnon M,
    6. McAiney CA,
    7. et al
    . Enhancing dementia care: a primary care-based memory clinic. J Am Geriatr Soc 2010;58(11):2197-204.
    OpenUrlCrossRefPubMed
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Canadian Family Physician: 59 (3)
Canadian Family Physician
Vol. 59, Issue 3
1 Mar 2013
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A new way of loving and living
Linda Lee, W. Wayne Weston
Canadian Family Physician Mar 2013, 59 (3) 286;

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Linda Lee, W. Wayne Weston
Canadian Family Physician Mar 2013, 59 (3) 286;
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