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Research ArticleArt of Family Medicine

Gratitude

Vera Etches
Canadian Family Physician October 2021, 67 (10) 767-768; DOI: https://doi.org/10.46747/cfp.6710767
Vera Etches
Medical Officer for Health for Ottawa Public Health in Ontario.
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Figure

Our daughter, Dr Vera Etches, wrote this poem for us when she was a third-year medical student at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. She had been born in New Zealand 23 years before and knew the story of her birth. Her birth was premature at 29 weeks; her birth weight 1500 g. No doctors, other than her parents, were present. Her father, Dr Duncan Etches, a first-year resident, tried to intubate but kept entering the esophagus. Dr Nora Etches, her mother, also a first-year resident and still in stirrups in the lithotomy position, took over and successfully inserted the tube to initiate breathing in her blue, lifeless baby. At that time and place, the limits of viability were 28 weeks. No surfactant was available to treat newborn respiratory distress syndrome. But Vera did well and after a few weeks in the incubator in the neonatal intensive care unit she was able to go home with us.

Drs Duncan and Nora Etches

To Mom and Dad after walking through the special care nursery, May 18, 1999

Peering through the plastic incubators:

I saw little creatures with big heads

And small bodies with perfect toes

Noses full of tubes

Heels bandaged

Nestled in soft padding

Some of these tiny people moved their limbs,

Sucked soothers

One baby looked at me, I think

I heard intrusive monitors warning:

Blat-blat-blat-blat-blat-blat, beep-beep-beep-beep-

-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-

I turned toward a soft cry and another gave up grunts.

I wanted to pick up the newborn

And feel her lightness

Her thin skin

Her wispy, almost-absent hair

I washed my hand,

Smelled the antibacterial soap,

And adjusted her soother

Through the little oval window.

I wondered if she ever tasted the formula

Dripped through a tube directly into her stomach

I imagined you patiently holding a syringe of formula

Day after day for weeks.

I looked for someone born my size—1500 g.

Or my age—30 weeks

That I was so tiny seems impossible

And, why did I escape

Learning disabilities, “cognitive weaknesses,”

Behaviour problems, or the less likely deafness or blindness

(though, you waited for months for me to smile,

and I did walk on my tiptoes—

I’m still pretty good at tripping over my feet)?

What can I say to my patients who will ask if their premature babies will be like me?

Girls do better than boys,

An extra 5 weeks and 250 to 900 g matters,

And, I have to thank—

Mom, who resuscitated me herself,

when the midwife dismissed me as dead,

She gained weight as she dutifully drank 4+ milkshakes a day

to encourage milk production

Dad, who gladly spent extra hours in the hospital,

just watching me

Do you still worry about my development?

What else did you think about twenty-three years ago?

Footnotes

  • Competing interests

    None declared

  • Copyright © the College of Family Physicians of Canada
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Canadian Family Physician: 67 (10)
Canadian Family Physician
Vol. 67, Issue 10
1 Oct 2021
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Gratitude
Vera Etches
Canadian Family Physician Oct 2021, 67 (10) 767-768; DOI: 10.46747/cfp.6710767

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Gratitude
Vera Etches
Canadian Family Physician Oct 2021, 67 (10) 767-768; DOI: 10.46747/cfp.6710767
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