Jump to comment:
- Page navigation anchor for RE: a physician's grief observedRE: a physician's grief observed
I thank Dr. Frank for his article. In particular, the paragraph about sitting in silence with someone who grieves resonated. Just the other day I was telling one of my children, currently a medical trainee rotating through obstetrics, about an incident in my internship many years ago. I watched while the obstetrician I was doing clinic with sat in complete silence with a G12p11 woman who had just learned that her in utero baby had died. He explained to her what had happened, what would happen next, and then just sat with her holding her hand in silence for 15 minutes (while I stood awkwardly in a corner of the room observing!) , then patted her hand and left. To this day, I tear up when relating this story. It was one of the most powerful things I learned and saw during that internship year.
Competing Interests: None declared. - Page navigation anchor for RE: A Physician’s Grief ObservedRE: A Physician’s Grief Observed
Dear Chris:
Your vivid and heart wrenching narrative touched me deeply. As we went through our medical training at Western, it felt like a re-introduction to humanity - both terrifying and hopeful. We put on protective layers; each of us outfitted differently to shield our own humanity from the onslaught of pain and suffering that was to be our daily bread.
Our own families were our foundation and our strength. Your profound loss tore that from you.
Your writing has laid bare the naked truth about grief. You have borne witness to its anguish and described the real journey and the toll that it takes.
I thank you deeply for it. It must have been difficult to write the article.My mother, who was my foundation died from a ruptured aneurysm in 2018. Despite the best care and her own remarkable fortitude, her time came to an end. No last words, only loving goodbyes after vigils at the ICU. I felt like an automaton for the years following her death. Aching inwardly, allowing tears when I got home from work, then back to the same state, day after day.
What you described of your journey has given me solace; that with time and with acceptance, my grief will be less wounding.
I too believe the experience of grief has made me open up and step outside my protective covering. I have allowed myself to be human and minister to my wounds.
Dear friend, I am so sorry that you had to endure the loss of your dear Tracey as you did.
...Show MoreCompeting Interests: None declared. - Page navigation anchor for RE: a physician’s grief observedRE: a physician’s grief observed
I read this reflection with so much respect and empathy. Dr. Frank’s essay about our experiences with personal grief as physicians is incredibly relatable. We are our hardest critics; we suppose that since we face challenging patient situations and provide empathy, we should somehow be ‘immune’ to sadness ourselves.
Yet, this isn’t nearly reality! Thank you, Dr. Frank, for eloquently describing the accuracy of our humanity: we are human first, with emotions to be felt and expressed. Our careers and education as physicians should by no means make us feel as though we aren’t ‘allowed’ or ‘supposed to’ feel grief in our personal lives. I echo your sentiments: the more we practice self-compassion AND are attuned to our own humanity, the easier grief becomes to acknowledge and process. Thank you for your honest and empowering reflection!
Competing Interests: None declared.
