OVERALL RATING Good
STRENGTHS Provides a tool for dialogue between children and parents during parents’ separation and divorce
WEAKNESSES A somewhat optimistic description of separation and divorce
AUDIENCE Primarily children between the ages of 6 and 12, but it can also be used for younger children; parents
Family Changes is an interactive workbook for children whose parents are going through a separation or divorce. Kelly Carter, a social worker, has worked with children from divorced and separated families for years. Using age-appropriate language and rich illustrations, this workbook invites children to express their feelings and reassures them that strong and conflicting emotions are normal during great upheavals in their family constellation. The workbook also deals with the broader issues of both appropriate and inappropriate child and parental behaviour often observed in families going through separation and divorce.
Although the text is inclusive, the author makes a number of assumptions about separation and divorce that might not resonate with all children. The author assumes that after a separation or divorce, children will have 2 homes and that both parents will remain equally involved in their lives. This is not always the case. Some separated or divorced parents have infrequent contact with their children and might live in another province, or even on another continent.
The book also deals with family violence. Children are invited to write down an “emergency number” for reference if they need to call for help when “someone is going to be hurt.” The author suggests that children might need to ask parents for this information. But what if the parents are abusive? Even non-abusive parents might not like the idea of children calling for help during a violent episode in the family. In fact, such a request could lead to severe punishment for some children.
Overall, family physicians should recommend this workbook to their adult and pediatric patients when they know that they are going through a separation or divorce. The book is a good starting point for dialogue between parents and their children during difficult family times.
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